Firetruck You and Your Elections!

This week, a review of some of the more hilarious votes cast in the 2006 Indiana University Student Association (IUSA) election. These, by the way, are completely true:
Perhaps the most striking vote came not for a particular person, but for an insult or action concerning IUSA. Editorial concerns prevent the printing of the full vote, but let’s just say it rhymes with buck, starts with “f” and ends with “uck.” Why anyone would vote for “Firetruck IUSA” is beyond me. Then again, someone did cast a vote for “Ugg Boots.” Considering the visibility of Uggs on campus, however, they probably would have done a pretty good job.
A couple votes came in respectively for “Douchewad McGee” and “Poophead McGee.” The McGee family was certainly well represented. “Anne Coulter” (sic) – the conservative pundit -- also garnered a vote. Coulter (say various fake sources) was actually born with the last name McGee. Ironic.
Candy even seems to have made its way into the ballot box with a vote for “M & M.” Skittles, however, were passed over for a vote, and for good reason. Those fruity and flamboyant rainbow delights have no mind for governance. They’re also not allowed to adopt children or get married, which makes conservative Christians very happy.
Political leaders –former and current – received votes when ballots were cast for “Dick Cheney,” “Jimmy Carter” and “Al Gore,” none of which, unfortunately, received enough support to win. Perhaps this is good. Shotguns aren’t allowed on campus, so that disqualifies Cheney. Carter would just bring trouble, and the last thing we need is Iranians taking students hostage in the IMU. Gore probably would have done alright, however. Plus, he’s not doing anything particularly important at the moment.
Former Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin even got support – good thing they preserved his body. And someone even voted for “The Mexican Government.” One wonders if they’d won, would the Minutemen allow them in the country?
There were some senseless votes for “Your Mother” and “My Dad.” Put these together and you get a composite vote for “One Steamy Affair.”
Some freedom-haters even cast votes for “Osama bin-Laden” and former Cambodian psychopath “Pol Pot.” Have no fear; these were counterbalanced by plentiful votes for “Chuck Norris” and even one for “Mr. T.” Norris and T could certainly have kept the order if needed.
Last, there were 4505 votes cast for the “Hoosier” candidates, the party that went on to claim the executive offices. Depending on your opinion of the current administration, this may have been the best, or worst, vote of all.
Just remember, student government is your voice. Your opinion is treasured and valued. If you disapprove of the way you’re represented, don’t hesitate to contact IUSA and tell them: “Hey, Firetruck You!”

Don't forget to check out The Leading Edge every Tuesday in the Indiana Daily Student.

For WIUX News and The Leadingham Edge, I'm Scott Leadingham.